"The Daily Nonsense report” showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn’t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

11/15/2003 - 10:36 a.m.
Send your future self an email
Category: nifty - posted by: Bruce
Send your future self an email, and pick the date you would like for it to be delivered. You can also view email others have sent their future selves which they've decided to make public.
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11/14/2003 - 6:00 a.m.
Atlanta's first freeze of year
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Bruce
Atlanta's first freeze of year happen last night. In other news, milk and bread flying off shelves, massive traffic jams expected for morning rush hour.
12


11/13/2003 - 2:50 p.m.
Wynonna Judd busted for DUI
Category: nauseous - posted by: Bruce
Bad news: Wynonna Judd busted for DUI. Good news: Her mug shot has been released by cops. Click to read story.

16


11/11/2003 - 12:18 p.m.
Where's the Capitol building?
Category: idiotic - posted by: Bruce
click to see comic
5


11/10/2003 - 6:32 a.m.
The bride has left the building
Category: idiotic - posted by: Bruce
This is quite possibly the scariest wedding I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if I’m down with the Tomb theme either. Then again, Bond weddings make me shudder, too.
5


11/10/2003 - 5:14 a.m.
Dummies
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce
I am dumbfounded at the enormous number of low self-esteem book titles geared toward Dummies. Many of them even say “For Dummies” twice in a row. If they wrote one about ventriloquism, would it be called Dummies for Dummies?

Here is a list of the most popular ones especially for couple that are starting their life together [there are over 9,884 titles]. Excerpts and commentary by Bruce.

Dating For Dummies®
Excerpt (women):

  • Wait by door.
  • Worry.
  • Change clothes.
  • Have father/roommate answer door.
  • Change clothes again.
  • Eat expensive things.
  • Eat his dessert.
  • Fake headache.
  • Call girlfriends and laugh.

Weddings For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • Get married.

Drinking at Wedding Receptions For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • Order drink.
  • Repeat.
  • Repeat.
  • Repeat.
  • Repeat.
  • Act like Fool on dance floor.
  • Continue to Dance like fool.
  • Order drink.
  • Dance on Bus.
  • Get SICK!.

Honeymoon Vacations For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • See [Sex For Dummies] below.

Sex For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • Unzip fly
  • Remove male’s p_n_s. Do not remove from male’s body. Just from pants.
  • Yeah like that.
  • Harder!
  • That’s what I’m talking about...
  • Aw yeah...

Smart Homes For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • “Because your home should be smarter than you.”

Investing For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • Give your money to me.
  • No, more than that.
  • OK, I’ll take it from here.

NASCAR For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • OK could that be any more redundant?

Coin Collecting For Dummies®
Excerpt:

  • Look at the ground.
  • Pick up that penny.
  • Save it.

Retired Racing Greyhounds for Dummies (For Dummies)®
Excerpt:

  • Buy a Greyhound.
  • When it’s old, leave it alone.

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