"The Daily Nonsense report” showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn’t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

12/05/2003 - 5:27 a.m.
Google Fun
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce
Go to Google, type in "miserable failure" and hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button
22


12/05/2003 - 5:08 a.m.
Your favorite TV shows of today in the future
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce
Lisa recently saved an article about the return of one of my favorite TV series called FarScape, a sci-fi series on what else but the Sci-Fi channel. Reading the article made me think that they should call the show “FartherScape”.

Click on the TV shows below to see what I believe they will look like in the future.


15

12/05/2003 - 4:46 a.m.
First-grade teacher tells class Santa isn't real
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Bruce
First-grade teacher tells class Santa isn't real. Fake Santa to come "prove" he IS real. In other news at school, Seventh grade teacher tells class that the female orgasm is also a myth, principal not sure who should come to class to prove her wrong.


23


12/04/2003 - 6:39 a.m.
This stuff scares me
This stuff scares me Thought I’d share some more weird-ass searches people have used to arrive here yesterday.


0

12/04/2003 - 4:58 a.m.
Read the Daily Nonsense in French
Category: nifty - posted by: Bruce
Did you know you could read the Daily Nonsense report in French , Spanish, Italian, Germanor even Portuguese? Neither did I but for three days now some French speaking/reading person has been reading this site using Google Language Tools.

The only French words that I can think of is French “Fries and French Toast. For those of you who cannot speak French what French words can you think of?
13


12/04/2003 - 4:48 a.m.
For all you parents out there!
Category: repulsive - posted by: Leslie
Repeat after me: I will never complain about MY kids again.
I will never complain about MY kids again ..........
I will never complain about MY kids again ..........

11


12/03/2003 - 6:05 a.m.
Panty Claus
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce
Panty Claus, funny but so so wrong.
15


12/03/2003 - 5:24 a.m.
Mr. Picassohead
Category: cool - posted by: Bruce
Mr. Picassohead perhaps we should be out working in our gardens or making art instead of spending time in front of our computers... but this is pretty cool. [via newstoday, flash required]
9


12/02/2003 - 5:16 a.m.
Welcome to the holiday shopping season!
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Bruce
A mob of shoppers rushing for a sale on DVD players trampled the first woman in line and knocked her unconscious as they scrambled for the shelves at a Wal-Mart Supercenter.

Patricia VanLester had her eye on a $29 DVD player, but when the siren blared at 6 a.m. Friday announcing the start to the post-Thanksgiving sale, the 41-year-old was knocked to the ground by the frenzy of shoppers behind her.

Or how about this story Competitive Shoppers Engage In Seasonal Shoving with video.
29


12/01/2003 - 11:48 a.m.
Another Google game
Category: claptrap - posted by: Jill
Another Google game, this one started by Jill, here are some of the results (selected by Jill) of typing “Bruce is” into Google:

  • Bruce is Out There! He's a smart-ass, a chainsaw-wielding wise guy and well, an actor. Any way you look at it, he's just a guy
  • Bruce is GOD
  • Bruce is Not Afraid "I don't smoke pot, and I'm glad because then I can champion it without any special pleading.
  • Bruce is gay.
  • Bruce is the first one to escape from College Park alive. ... all dressed in, um, brads?
  • Bruce is too old to be an active duty Navy SEAL.
  • Bruce is thinking hard, and Maggie thinks that's hilarious
  • Bruce is coming with me... I would rather it be Dennis. but life is a bitch besides Bruce is my best friend.
  • Bruce is churning out his same old disinformation again
  • Bruce is best known for doing humorous, homespun, human interest stories
  • Bruce is a bisexual who is living with a very jealous male lover.
  • Bruce is educated about how women feel.
  • Bruce is discharged from the army for wearing women's clothing.
  • Bruce is a current Clowns Of America International Artist
  • Bruce is disconnected with everything in his life and rarely misses an opportunity to complain about it.
  • Bruce is performing this week!
  • Bruce is also known throughout the world as a master flintknapper.
Your job is to write paragraph using at least 3 of the above.
7

12/01/2003 - 6:11 a.m.
What exactly were you looking for? Part 2
I can tell it was a holiday weekend by the unusual search requests I was getting. More fabulous ways surfers found Bruce‘s Daily Nonsense report:


0

12/01/2003 - 4:31 a.m.
Forensic art, illustration, age progressions
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce
Who am I? This is what Stephen Mancusi (certified in forensic art by the International Association for Identification) thinks I would look like without my unusual facial changes.


16


12/01/2003 - 4:10 a.m.
Today's dangerous toys pale to those of past
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Steve
'Tis the season for dangerous toy warnings. You know the drill by now: toys that might choke a kid, toys that could put somebody's eye out, toys that could poison you if you chewed them up, many of the toys so obscure that you'll never see them on the shelves.
28


11/30/2003 - 10:34 a.m.
Office Christmas Parties
Category: nifty - posted by: Bruce
Don't fall off the fast track to success, the dos and don'ts of office holiday parties, simple math: (Alcohol + (you + your boss)) = "I can't believe I said that" on Monday mornings.
13


Last Week Nonsense - This Week Nonsense



Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this nonsense without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited. Sanitized for your protection. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. One size fits all. No user-serviceable parts inside. I do not carry cash. No wagering. Void where prohibited by law.