"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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SUBMISSIONS

1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




12/12/2003 - 12:08 p.m.
And remember, please have your pets spayed or neutered...
Category: interesting - posted by: Steve.
http://www.sptimes.com/2003/12/09/Floridian/At_80__Bob_Barker_is_.shtml Bob Barker turns 80 today. Secrets of Price is Right, and kicking Adam Sandler's ass in "Happy Gilmore" revealed.
11

12/12/2003 - 6:42 a.m.
Oh deer
Category: interesting - posted by: Laura W.
Reindeer herding deadliest job. Grandma not available for comment.
16

12/12/2003 - 6:21 a.m.
Shake that thing. Season�s Greeting
Category: cool - posted by: Jerry
Here�s a shake to Season�s Greeting Don�t forget to click and drag the snowglobe to shake it.
3

12/12/2003 - 5:32 a.m.
"If you call the cops we will eat them."
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce
At Mason�s (my son, in Kindergarten) school during the first few days of class his teacher used the same story only leaving clues to where the kids can find the gingerbread man. The idea was to teach the kids where the library, gym, principal office, etc was. Today he still thinks the gingerbread man is real. I�m glad he still doesn�t know how to read, I would hate for him to get upset to learn that the gingerbread man has been kidnapped.
13

12/12/2003 - 5:09 a.m.
Hi I'm Homer Simpson and I drink Beer
Category: interesting - posted by: Bruce
Have you ever wondered how much alcohol have YOU consumed in your life? Or how much it might have cost you? Take the "drink-o-meter" test. (Flash) I rated a "Homer Simpson", which means I could fill a few bathtubs, but haven't quite spent the Ferrari money. Something tells me that many of you will bury my score.
9

12/11/2003 - 6:06 a.m.
Bad Santa, Letter #2
Category: uproarious - posted by: ScreenWriter

2

12/11/2003 - 5:18 a.m.
Christmas song for you my friend, just kidding
Category: idiotic - posted by: Fart Man
Here�s a Christmas song written/sung just for you, the nonsense reader.
3

12/11/2003 - 4:53 a.m.
Nice Snowman
Category: cool - posted by: Jill
Build your own snowman using Chris Guy's snowman-builder. Now this is how I like to build snowman, indoors.
5

12/11/2003 - 4:29 a.m.
Have a Very Merry eBay Christmas
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce
eBay Auction of Tidings of Comfort and Joy
9

12/10/2003 - 7:00 a.m.
I am sorry, but your time has expired!
Category: sad - posted by: Bruce
How depressing I only have 34 years and 27 days left to enjoy my family as of 7:00 AM on 12/10/03.
I�m thankful that I did not get this message.
"I am sorry, but your time has expired! Have a nice day."

Go ahead, I know you want to, how much time do you have left?
18

12/10/2003 - 6:09 a.m.
drunk people with axes? Bad idea
Category: Sad, but true - posted by: Bruce
College student dies while on journey to cut down a Christmas tree while drunk.
10

12/10/2003 - 5:56 a.m.
Bad Santa, Letter #1
Category: uproarious - posted by: ScreenWriter

Apparently we have an elf from the North Pole that reads this nonsense and he sent me a copy of some letters that Santa receives from kids. Now, I know why Santa never writes back, or at least why his responses never make it back to the kids. I will post a letter a day.


7

12/10/2003 - 5:51 a.m.
Happy Christmas, from Ozzy Osbourne
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce
Hear him for yourself, don't forget to press the play button.
6

12/09/2003 - 6:14 a.m.
Santa faints under sweetie stampede
Category: idiotic - posted by: Steve
A Santa hired by a large department store in Linden for an annual Christmas party had to be rushed to the Mackenzie Hospital on Friday after he was swamped by children demanding sweets. Santa plans to wear bikini next year.
12

12/09/2003 - 5:47 a.m.
I love religious paraphernalia
Category:bizarre- posted by: Bruce
Shop at Ship of Fools, Order now before Christmas, Now Available for Advance Orders - make sure you get one or more! You know you want one � Bobble head Jesus or how about the Virgin Mary Bobble head.
25

12/08/2003 - 7:19 a.m.
Trojans Pound Beavers
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce
Ladies I thought I would fill-you-in on why men like watching football, this weekend headline Trojans Pound Beavers.

What�s your headline?
11

12/08/2003 - 5:52 a.m.
Elf Bowling
Category: uproarious - posted by: Owen
It just wouldn't be Christmas without a new version of Elf Bowling
13

12/08/2003 - 5:43 a.m.
A Little Snip For Man Who Has Everything
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce
While you're out shopping this holiday season, you may be wondering what to get that guy who has everything, How about a vasectomy gift certificate?
21

12/08/2003 - 5:24 a.m.
Grinch caught on tape
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce
Grinch caught on tape stealing Christmas decorations, neighbors surprised the police haven't beaten him to death yet.
12

Last Week Nonsense - This Week Nonsense

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