"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




12/24/2003 - 7:33 a.m.
Can you see me now?
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Bruce
Idiots spend fortune on Christmas lights so their house will be visible from space. Well, duh! A decent spy satellite could read their rapidly-spinning electricity meter with no difficulty.
8

12/23/2003 - 6:04 a.m.
It was a dark day in McMurdo.
Category: interesting - posted by: Bruce
Iceblog! "Antarctica: the best place in the world to be naked" (and take a bunch of awesome pictures, too).
14

12/23/2003 - 5:42 a.m.
Jingle Bells, doggie style
Category: Twaddle - posted by: Bruce
For many of us, singing carols is one of the happiest parts of the holiday season. This year, why not have your dogs join in the fun by teaching them how to sing-along to your favorite Yuletide melodies?
15

12/22/2003 - 6:56 a.m.
Who�s next, Santa said with a smile
Category: cool - posted by: Bruce
Strip club bosses offering complimentary lap dances to weary Santa�s. In other news, Santa Suit rentals up 450%.
11

12/21/2003 - 6:37 a.m.
Santa lays off elves
Category: sad - posted by: Bruce
"I feel really dejected, because being an elf is part of my identity," said Milja Vilmila, who was told her job as an elf helping Santa no longer existed. "Something will definitely be missing this Christmas."
8

12/20/2003 - 6:37 a.m.
Judge offers option to traffic offenders.
Category: nifty - posted by: Bruce
Judge offers option to sing Christmas carols to traffic offenders. City noise ordinance violation ensues, see picture of embarrassed girlfriend
10

12/20/2003 - 6:21 a.m.
Christmas family project, mini mutant killer snowman
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce
Looking for a arts-n-craft project for your kids, here is how to make your own mini mutant killer snowman
7

12/19/2003 - 6:30 a.m.
Have a very U-G-L-Y Christmas
Category: idiotic - posted by: Bruce.
We all have a neighbor who has no clue. Take a picture and send to me for posting. Happy hunting.

3

12/19/2003 - 6:06 a.m.
merry Christmas and happy new year!
Category: repulsive - posted by: Bruce.
The amazing horror masked karate killer girl from mars wishes you a merry Christmas and happy new year!
9

12/19/2003 - 5:57 a.m.
Pooping Santa
Category: bizarre - posted by: Laura.
Did you ever wonder what Santa does when he's out delivering Christmas presents and he has to stop? If so go here.
4

12/19/2003 - 5:47 a.m.
Simply blow it up
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce.
Forget that messy REAL Christmas tree! Get an INFLATABLE CHRISTMAS TREE complete with GIFTS!

Simply blow it up and say to your kids: "Here's your damn Christmas Tree!"

4

12/19/2003 - 5:41 a.m.
�Non-Holiday Special�
Category: uproarious - posted by: Frank.
�Non-Holiday Special� PG-13 Santa, Easter Bunny, Turkey, Baby with Wings, and Fat Bastard strongly cautioned.
4

12/18/2003 - 6:14 a.m.
Not for Bush supporters
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce.
This song is by NOFX called THE IDIOT SON OF AN ASSHOLE !!! is a catchy song with a good hook. Lisa you will like this!
17

12/18/2003 - 5:36 a.m.
Too bad it wasn't one of those Miniature half-ton snowballs
Category: claptrap - posted by: Steve.
Giant half-ton snowball pins, injures boy. Frosty not available for comment.
20

12/18/2003 - 5:03 a.m.
adults pulling guns on children for throwing snowballs
Category: sad - posted by: Natalie.
Here we go with this season's first snowball fight gone horribly awry
20

12/17/2003 - 11:56 a.m.
Mischievous Santas
Category: claptrap - posted by: Amy.
Officially, it's known as Santacon, an orchestrated invasion of mischievous Kris Kringles coming to a town near you.
22

12/17/2003 - 7:00 a.m.
Georgia's First Snow
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce.
Snow flurries fly IN Georgia, In other news, milk and bread suppliers make down payment on new yacht
19

12/17/2003 - 6:34 a.m.
Poor Rudolf
Category: Sad - posted by: Bruce.
Rudolf struck by airplane, Santa not found. Click here for pictures
3

12/17/2003 - 6:30 a.m.
What a tough guy
Category: incredible - posted by: Frank.
What a tough guy
5

12/17/2003 - 5:34 a.m.
Not safe for weak stomachs
Category: idiotic - posted by: Bruce.
Man breaks record for most piercings by piercing himself 900 times in the leg.


15

12/16/2003 - 5:54 a.m.
This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands
Category: incredible - posted by: Frank.
Not just a wooden Ferrari, but a wooden Ferrari boat. Amazing. It's real, it's in Venice...and here's the home page of the craftsman who made it.
12

12/16/2003 - 5:34 a.m.
ENRAGED WOMAN ASSAULTS MALL SANTA
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Jill.
A horrible scene broke out December 6 at Valley Heights Mall. A shopper named Gina Crank flew into a violent rage, claiming that Thomas Reynolds, who works as the mall's Santa Claus, insulted her. "I was greeting the children with my traditional ho ho ho, and some deranged woman went off on me."

Crank shouted "Who are you calling a ho? Fat man!" and charged the elderly gentleman. She dropped her shopping bags, picked up a large aluminum candy cane, and proceeded to hit Reynolds repeatedly over the head and upper torso. Frightened children ran from the scene screaming, and mall security stood idly by, staring in disbelief. Read More
3

12/16/2003 - 5:16 a.m.
Even Santa has been influenced by the evil video games!
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Jill.
Santa robs bank. The getaway vehicle was a tan car, not sleigh. Police suspect an imposter
6

12/15/2003 - 6:08 a.m.
Loners of the world, UNITE!!...or not.
Category: idiotic - posted by: Bruce.
Many people prefer to spend the holidays solo, but other folks won't leave them alone.
15

12/15/2003 - 5:30 a.m.
Can you hear me now?
Category: idiotic - posted by: Frank.
can you get us in the playoffs now? Football celebrations reach new low after Saints player makes cell phone call from the end zone.


Update!!! Update!! Updated 12/17/03
NFL fines Horn $30k for post-TD cell phone call. NFL commissioner asks, "can you hear me now?"
19

12/15/2003 - 5:13 a.m.
Star light Star bright
Find which star sent light to earth on your birthday.
4

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