"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




04/11/2004 - 5:12 a.m.
Happy Easter
George says...


I'm sure he means the funniest and
most intelligent comments on the net.
1

04/10/2004 - 10:31 a.m.
Multi-colored chicks for Easter
Happy Easter, everybody! Nothing like a natural abomination to ring in the season! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, those are real live baby chickens dyed in various pastel colors. How do they do this thing? They inject (non-toxic) dye right into the eggs. Who does this thing? These guys, a hatchery in Alaska (no information about the chicks on their web page). Amusing? Horrifying? Strangely delicious-looking? You make the call.
13

04/09/2004 - 5:29 a.m.
Beating down the Easter Bunny in front of children
Those crazy Christians, look what they have done now. First, the Passion of the Christ. Now, the torment of the Easter Bunny? Beating down the Easter Bunny in front of children... THATS NOT RIGHT!

From article: It may not have been as gruesome as Mel Gibson's movie, but many parents and children got upset when a church trying to teach about Jesus' crucifixion performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs.
10

04/08/2004 - 6:20 a.m.
Evidently the chicken has the Clapper
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce.
Subservient chicken - modern advertising... Yes you can have him dance the YMCA , moonwalk, cabbage patch, the egyptian and the electric slide and the worm too. What can you make him do?


36

04/07/2004 - 5:31 a.m.
Frequent sexual intercourse protects men against prostate cancer
Category: nifty - posted by: Bruce.
Frequent sexual intercourse and masturbation protects men against prostate cancer. From the article: "The good news is it is not related to an increased risk�"
Thanks to Lisa, I have no chance of getting prostate cancer.
26

04/07/2004 - 5:23 a.m.
Complete this sentence #1
Category: Complete this sentence - posted by: Bruce.
"If I knew you were coming I�d have ________________ ."
(baked a cake is disqualified)
24

04/06/2004 - 6:27 a.m.
8th Grade Web Projects
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce.
8th Grade Web Projects I remember having to do instructional presentations, but in my day we did it with posters, none of this fancy HTML stuff. Some of them are pretty funny. I especially like how you can see the junior high student stereotypes, like the Teacher's Pet, and the slacker. There's also the sarcastic goth, and of course the pot heads.
14

04/05/2004 - 6:34 a.m.
Teen who posted own photo charged with child porn
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Bruce.
A 15 year old girl has been charged with several counts related to "child pornography" for sending out pictures of herself to several people she chatted with. As more and more teens use web cams for all sorts of things from keeping in touch with friends, getting strangers to buy them things from their wish lists and making some money.
12

04/05/2004 - 6:28 a.m.
Asteroids, the Memories
Asteroids marathon. Twenty-seven hours of game play and it's only good for fifth place. "In the history of recorded video game world records, no other record is as unique as that on the classic Atari game 'Asteroids' according to the Twin Galaxies Intergalactic Scoreboard. And the reason for that is simple. It is the oldest, unbeaten world record in our database, after more than 22 years of compiling and tracking world records on classic arcade, home console, pinball, hand-held and PC-based titles."

Memories. Back during the summer of 1981, I played one game of Asteroids for 18.5 hours before the damn machine let me down. I started my quest for the world record at 12 noon on a Friday and the machine over heated and cutoff at 6:35 AM with a score of a little over 9 million. I had at least 200 ships in reserve. My plan was to play until midnight Saturday night then take a couple hour nap with friends watching the machine until I got down to about a dozen ships then start playing again. The only good news out of this experience was I got a good article written about me titled �Game room Wizard� in the Atlanta Journal. The game room owner did give my quarter back since the machine malfunction, lol. That same year I won the Asteroids championship for the state of Georgia and was sponsored by Atari to play in the international championship in a new game called Centipede in Chicago.
11

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