"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




05/30/2004 - 9:05 a.m.
It's Time for Jesus Dress Up
For your Sunday entertainment, I bring you Jesus Dress Up. What does a dashing Christ where to a cruxification? Would the bell bottoms and cute halter say "I'm hip, I'm phat, I'm too cool to die"? Maybe the light-hearted pink tutu and bunny slippers would lend an air of frivolity to the event. Or perhaps the tux and tails to reflect the somber occasion? You decide. Note: I'm stepping away from my computer now, in case of lightning attacks.

Warning, do not select the �Normal Bob Smith� link at the bottom of the page; I do not want to promote that site, YOU. HAVE. BEEN. WARNED.
9

05/29/2004 - 10:28 a.m.
Dental Sounds
This German site has MP3 recordings of dentist office sounds (link using Google translator, for those of us who can�t read German).

From the site: Noises in the dentistry often make fear. For preparation for a dentist attendance it can work fear-reducing to argue in relaxed atmosphere with these noises.

Is this lovely or what?
8

05/28/2004 - 5:56 a.m.
There goes the neighbourhood
Did you know that there was a real Simpsons home, well there is and here are the pictures to prove it.

How would you like this as your master bedroom?
14

05/28/2004 - 5:30 a.m.
Addicting Friday Online Game
Park the Caravan: Try to park this in the spot. Not easy
7

05/28/2004 - 4:10 a.m.
Handprint Reading Technology now available on the net
This utility reads your hand. I have no idea how this works, but it really works! By the end of next year, 2005, this technology will be used by www.webmd.com for scanning broken bones from your home/office PC, I�m not sure about you but this technology scares the hell out of me.
8

05/27/2004 - 6:44 a.m.
Funny. I don�t recall these at the Holiday Inn
Soap comes in unusual and often disturbing shapes. I did not know this until this morning when I found a link to Fetus Soap on a Rope. Curiosity got the better of me and I began spelunking the data mines of Google in search of soaps of unusual size and shapes. I spent about ten years of my career traveling allover the eastern half of the US and I never saw anything like these at the hotels that I stayed in.

I found Clown Soap, Snowman Poop Soap (scroll down), Happy Frog Soap, Gay Soap, Dirty Hippie Soap, Biblical Soap, Monster Soap, Bug Soap (I�m sure this one would be Mason�s favorite), Goats Head Soap, Fight Club Soap (from one of my favorite movies), Glow-in-the-Dark Alien Soap, Ugly Dog Soap, Rubber Chicken Soap (a must see), Garlic Soap (for those of you with vampire phobias), Ugly Soap (this one disturbs me greatly) and of course, Goth Soap (scary).
16

05/27/2004 - 4:38 a.m.
Three guesses
What did I find in the back of my refrigerator?
Updated Friday morning, select comments for answer.
13

05/26/2004 - 6:19 a.m.
Hot Dogs + Art = Hot Dog Art
Tired of make those same old hot dogs for your kids? Well you should check out this Japanese site that features Hot dogs as art. Instructions are provided, so you can make these at home. Like the hot dog shark shown here.


11

05/26/2004 - 6:08 a.m.
Create A Cereal Box
Design a cereal box - This is intended for kids, but I did it anyway.

But here's the thing: The tool seems to have no language filters at all -- not even for the most depraved profanity, it appears -- so whatever deranged cereal-name you come up it, it'll happily slap on the box.

4

05/26/2004 - 4:30 a.m.
George W Bush Wish List

George W. Bush has a wish list at Amazon.
6

05/26/2004 - 4:17 a.m.
No hip-hop is worth that
(video) It's amazing what people will do for free concert tickets these days.
13

05/25/2004 - 6:41 a.m.
Ebay auction for something
Fellow Ebay-ers... Over the years you have seen many items go up for bids on these pages. Nearly anything imaginable, from aircraft carriers to rare stamps to missile silos have been sold here. Now I give you, the Ebay bidder, a chance to finally bid on SOMETHING.

You heard correctly. This is an auction for something. Very different from a famed auction that took place last year for Nothing. The trouble is, an auction for nothing is just like any other auction on Ebay... you know exactly what you're going to get. No mystery there. No excitement. No intrigue. But in this auction, as you bid on SOMETHING, you'll notice something. A rush that takes control of your entire body. Your pulse races. Your hair stands on end. It's the same excitement you felt on your first Ebay bid, and now I'm giving you the opportunity to feel that thrill again.

I'm giving almost no hints as to exactly what the winner of this auction will acquire. I will only say that the item fits the regulations set for items sold on Ebay, and that the item can be shipped through the U.S. Mail system. Any more hints and I run the risk of you, the bidder, not getting that same high you felt on your first bid. Just imagine... This could be anything. Are you ready to bid? What? Would you bid on this? Apparently, 15 people have.
7

05/25/2004 - 4:09 a.m.
Best Visual Illusion?
Here's my vote for the best visual illusion ever.
8

05/25/2004 - 4:00 a.m.
Virtual Stapler
Virtual Stapler - It's just like a real stapler, except it doesn't staple anything.
15

05/25/2004 - 3:37 a.m.
Warning! Warning! Warning! This is more than strange, this is SomethingStrange.
Do you like big balloons? I do. Something very strange happened to me while playing with this particular balloon. I thought I was going to die! I still like balloons. If you think that is totally strange there is more. Hopefully this link will hold up as it is a large file (Dial-up beware).
17

05/24/2004 - 3:44 a.m.
Speaks for itself.
Brutally Honest Personals - The singles below are real people with real issues. Some are overweight. Others are crippled by debt. Quite a few live with their parents. But they all have one thing in common: They are available. And they've put themselves out there with the hope of finding someone willing to accept them at face value. So, please, scan their profiles. You may not get exactly what you want, but at least you know exactly what you're getting.
9

05/24/2004 - 3:29 a.m.
When will it stop? Now, The costume lady
Remember the Tron costume guy? Now there is a costume lady, they should date.
8

05/24/2004 - 3:20 a.m.
The Rejection Hotline
The Rejection Hotline is a number you can give out to somebody who asks for your phone number if you just don't want to give out your real number. Located in over 30 cities nationwide, and with people having cell phone numbers from all over the place, you never have to deal with telling someone no again. Get your number before you head out tonight.

"Hello. This is not the person you were trying to reach. You've reached Atlanta's Rejection Hotline. The person who gave you this number did not want you to have their real number. I know this sucks, but don't be too devastated. So why were you given the Rejection Hotline? This could mean you're short, fat, ugly, dumb, annoying, arrogant or a general loser. Maybe the idea of going out with you is as appealing as playing leap frog with unicorns ..."

Read more about Jeff Goldblatt and The Rejection Hotline.
Call a number. It's hilarious.
Atlanta: 770-908-7383
Baltimore: 410-347-1488
Boston: 617-861-3962
Chicago: 773-509-5027
Dallas: 972-504-6270
Denver: 303-607-7527
Detroit: 248-262-6861
Houston: 713-866-6249
Las Vegas: 702-386-5397
Los Angeles: 310-217-7638
Maine: 207-376-0768
Miami: 305-241-0033
New Hampshire: 603-413-2340
New Jersey: 201-808-6011
New York: 212-660-2245
Orlando: 407-338-0036
Phoenix: 602-230-4210
Rhode Island: 401-648-6543
San Diego: 858-492-8002
San Francisco: 415-356-9833
Seattle: 206-376-9798
Virginia: 703-912-1725
Washington DC: 202-452-7468

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Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this nonsense without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited. Sanitized for your protection. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. One size fits all. No user-serviceable parts inside. I do not carry cash. No wagering. Void where prohibited by law.