"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

GET AROUND
JUST FOR FUN

ABOUT

Bruce's Bookmarks
Friends

SUBMISSIONS

1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




11/21/2003 - 4:21 p.m.
Arrests Made
Category: Twaddle - posted by: Clack
At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator.

Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement.

He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
0

11/21/2003 - 6:15 a.m.
Anti-muppet vs Clay Aiken - the Battle is on
Category: dim-witted news - posted by: Bruce
Celebrity Smack down MDCLXVI
The battle is on between the anti-muppet Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Almost-American-Idol Clay Aiken.
16

11/20/2003 - 6:05 a.m.
Panties for Christian girls
Category: bizarre - posted by: Laura W.
Now on the liter side. Panties for Christian girls. Now you can witness every time you drop trou! *dodges a bolt of lightning* I hope I don�t go to hell for this one, but I just can�t help myself. The devil made me do it.
6

11/20/2003 - 5:45 a.m.
More on �Do not drink and drive�
Category: inspiration - posted by: Jill
Please read the two links below. Jacqui should be a great inspiration to us all. Timely. Jacqui was just on Oprah on Monday. (Kudos to the Austin-American Statesman for keeping its special report updated.)
15

11/19/2003 - 5:28 a.m.
(WWJD) What Would Jesus Drive?
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce
Last night while at dinner Mini-Me asked what would Jesus drive? The Internet is a great resource after about 5 minutes I now have the answer. What you ask, click here to see.


11

11/18/2003 - 6:48 a.m.
Boy, not dead, finds dead girl and, grief-stricken, kills himself.
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce
Last week I posted some nonsense on how to Send your future self an email. But there is more MyLastEmail.com is a unique online service, which allows you to leave messages for those you care about � to be emailed after your death. Oh. My. God.
9

11/18/2003 - 6:27 a.m.
If you can�t sing, have no fear
Category: incredible - posted by: Bruce
If you can�t sing, have no fear. I found a website for you. Just type in some words and it will sing them to you! You can also e-mail your creation to your friends
2

11/18/2003 - 6:06 a.m.
Things a Dog can do to drive their masters insane
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce

  • Beg to go for a walk. Hold it in though. Wait till you get back inside. THEN soil the new carpet. Especially effective if it�s raining really hard out.
  • Chew up one sock from each pair. Just one.
  • Pretend that your human�s house is haunted. Bark at invisible objects. Especially effective when owners are sleeping.
  • Forget certain tricks when company comes over. Do the trick the second they leave.
  • Nothing is chew-proof. Prove this to them on a regular basis.

Time to add your own.
8

11/18/2003 - 5:23 a.m.
Bad Joke of the Day
Category: uproarious - posted by: Bruce
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing. One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can take him home today."

Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said, "give him the dog."
0

11/17/2003 - 5:56 a.m.
Do not drink and drive
Category: Interesting - posted by: Bruce
Do not drink and drive, the story of Jaqueline Saburido.
20

11/17/2003 - 4:51 a.m.
Nice Jugs, Dad!
Category: Bizarre - posted by: Bruce
According to Fathers Who Breastfeed, male breasts also can produce milk - which comes in handy for the times mother is unavailable or father wants to gross out his friends.

7

Last Week Nonsense - This Week Nonsense

Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this nonsense without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited. Sanitized for your protection. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. One size fits all. No user-serviceable parts inside. I do not carry cash. No wagering. Void where prohibited by law.