"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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SUBMISSIONS

1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




02/21/2004 - 5:49 a.m.
I'm Rich, I hit the lottto
I won the lotto, I�m 230 MM dollars richer. Don�t believe me, read the newspaper story here.
Go to the comments for more info.
4

02/20/2004 - 12:20 p.m.
Kisses the sexy urinal
Category: incredible - posted by: Bruce.

Get infected by the Bathroom Mania!

As they say on the website this is one target That I would not miss.
6

02/20/2004 - 6:21 a.m.
John Kerry�s Amazon Wish list

  1. Men Who Look Like Pieces of Wood
  2. Great Republican Conspiracies and Other Bedtime Stories
  3. Inter Office Sex: Worth the Risk?
  4. How to Win Friends and Seduce Interns
  5. Sell Your Soul To Satan and Claim It On Your Taxes
  6. Clinton Did it. Why Can�t I?

10

02/20/2004 - 6:16 a.m.
Currently over 1.3 million humans for sale!
Category: claptrap - posted by: Bruce.

Have you been thinking about putting yourself up for sale lately? Ever wonder how much money you could get on the open human market? HumanForSale.com will attempt to place a value on your life using a variety of criteria in 4 basic facets of life (physical, mental, lifestyle, personality).

In case you were wondering I am worth exactly $2,149,672.00. Lisa got a damn good deal when she married me! Folks that should put me in the top 10 for the day.

What are you worth? As the site says, the more honestly you answer the questions, the more realistic the dollar value returned will be.
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02/20/2004 - 6:08 a.m.
Dead weight
Category: Twaddle - posted by: Bruce.
As some of you may know, I�m on a diet. On 1/5/04 I weighed 192 lbs and today I weigh 174 lbs. In my office 17 people have loss a total 137.5 lbs in 40 days. A couple of us were talking about our weight loss when one person pointed out that people who weigh more than 300 pounds have to be buried in special caskets, known in the trade as �triple wides�. I had a gut feeling that this was a load of baloney, but in a roundabout way, he pointed out that this is the bread and butter of some casket makers, particularly Goliath Casket. They�ve really taken a chunk out of the casket business by harpooning deals with major casket dealers.

Many funeral directors say this problem of burying the portly is affecting more than just casket size. Hearses too, need to be made wider as American waistlines increase each year. It may weigh heavily on your mind, but here�s the skinny: �People are living larger and they�re dying larger, and industries have to adapt to that situation,� says Allen Steadham, executive director of the International Size-Acceptance Association, an advocacy group for the obese.

Let me just point out that Funeral Depot is a very tacky name.
10

02/19/2004 - 6:41 a.m.
Caption contest
Category: Caption contest - posted by: Bruce.


12

02/19/2004 - 6:25 a.m.
Age-Maps
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce.
Age-Maps: Two photographs of the same person, from different periods of time (child and adult) are spliced together.
7

02/19/2004 - 6:18 a.m.
Howard Dean�s Amazon Wish list
Wouldn�t you know it? I started writing this list on Tuesday morning and he drops out. I�m running it anyway just like he kept running after everyone told him to stop.

  1. Am I Yelling?!
  2. How to Quit and Blame Your Subordinates
  3. Too Stubborn to Quit; Too Rich to Care
  4. Who Invented the Internet? And Other Democrat Trivia
  5. The Matthew Lesko Guide to Free Government Money
What have I left off?
10

02/18/2004 - 6:42 a.m.
Bush Yoga.
Category: bizarre - posted by: Bruce.
Bush Yoga

Welcome to Yoga for Beginners, a one-act play conceived, written, and produced by kerry

Yoga instructor: Step one is to clear your mind.
Dubya: Check! Finished
9

02/18/2004 - 6:15 a.m.
George W. Bush - Amazon Wish list
You really do not know a person until you know what they read in their off hours. Today I will provide you with the Amazon wish list of George W. Bush. During the next couple of days I will provide you with the wish list of the remaining candidates.

  1. Fixing an Election for Dummies
  2. Help Your Child Beat a Police Rap
  3. American Presidency for Dummies
  4. The Complete Idiot�s Guide to Hiding Military Records
  5. My Golden Book of Capitalism
What have I left off?
14

02/16/2004 - 3:03 a.m.
Jenny I got your number 867-5309
Category: cool - posted by: Bruce
Update: As of 2/17/04 6:30 AM the bid is up to $80,700.00
Jenny I got your number 867-5309. Remember the Tommy TuTone hit �Jenny/867-5309". Well this dude thanks to �number portability� is going to make a mint selling his cell phone number to the highest bid on eBay. As of 3:00AM on Monday morning there was 143 bids with 6 days to go and get this the bid is up to $41, 100.
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Last Week Nonsense - This Week Nonsense

Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this nonsense without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited. Sanitized for your protection. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. One size fits all. No user-serviceable parts inside. I do not carry cash. No wagering. Void where prohibited by law.