"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




05/07/2004 - 6:40 a.m.
I'm going to have him arrested! He stole my moves!
White Man Dancing! The funniest dancing video. Worth a watch, or ten.
11

05/07/2004 - 6:16 a.m.
Apparently god hates people who stomp grapes
Lisa thinks its bad when I laugh or think its funny when someone gets hurt. I agree but sometimes I just can�t help myself. Stomping grapes is all fun and games until... - Local TV coverage of a grape-stomping contest gone wrong! Ch�teau �lan is located about 25 miles north of where I live. This is funny as hell in a sad way of course.
8

05/07/2004 - 5:48 a.m.
The Banana Guard
Protect your banana - For all monkeys who need to keep their bananas in good shape.

"Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere."
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05/07/2004 - 5:27 a.m.
Sheepteroids - Asteroids with Sheep
Friday games. Play Sheepteroids

10

05/06/2004 - 12:14 p.m.
See Bush Pick a Winner
Yup! Dubya unrelentlessly picks his nose at a baseball game!
12

05/06/2004 - 6:21 a.m.
NO PANTS DAY 2004
Tomorrow, May 7th, is No Pants Day 2004. A day where everyone, be they students, respectable businessmen, or cherished community leaders, leave their pants behind. Usually this means wearing thick, appropriately modest boxer shorts, but bloomers, slips, briefs and boxer-briefs all work as well.

The core idea is that when large groups of people parade around in public without their pants, amazing things are bound to happen. At the very least, you'll take your drab, wretched life a little less seriously, at least for one day.

Link provided by: April
19

05/06/2004 - 6:19 a.m.
THE BARBIE EXPERIMENT
Is this sad? Or what?

When Ohio native Cindy Jackson decided to transform her face, she followed what she calls 'some basic anthropological laws of human attraction.'

None of this surprises researchers studying physical attraction. Perceptions of beauty are universal and automatic, they say, in direct response to specific facial characteristics.

With laser-beam precision, Cindy Jackson has repositioned tissue, cartilage and bone to transform herself into one of the most desirable women of the late 20th century, Barbie.


7

05/06/2004 - 3:54 a.m.
The terrorists have already won.
The Jammin Fighter Jocks [Warning 5 minute video]
9

05/06/2004 - 3:40 a.m.
Barge sinks after nude sighting in Texas
Partygoers crowded one side of vessel to catch glimpse of bathers at a nude beach. Last thing heard as the vessel was tipping over: Holy crap! A naked person! I've never seen one of those!

My take on this vessel going down in Texas as partygoer�s crowd one side hoping to catch a glimpse of naked people on the beach. I Blame Bush!!!

Link provided by: Bethany
13

05/05/2004 - 6:38 a.m.
Now THAT'S a eugoogly.
Pat Tillman's memorial ceremony was going as planned: American flags waved, the Army and the NFL stood together, all mourning their lost colleague. It was going as planned until Pat's brother spoke: "Pat isn't with God,'' he said. "He's f -- ing dead. He wasn't religious. So thank you for your thoughts, but he's f -- ing dead.''
17

05/05/2004 - 6:20 a.m.
I found Alvin, Simon, and Theodore they are now doing vocals for other charters.
The Shining in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.
10

05/04/2004 - 11:47 a.m.
Here�s a story about a man�s hole and a mouse with lots of pictures
get your mind out of the gutter.
A hole - This is Weird, in a very fascinating way.
21

05/04/2004 - 6:56 a.m.
Well, at least he went to one class.
Eli Manning better have a long career in the NFL, because I don't think he has a future in web design. Here's his U of Mississippi web page.
24

05/04/2004 - 4:38 a.m.
Finally, a way to express feelings about advertising directly.
Wizmark is based on one unwritten rule: When using a urinal, never stare at the person next to you. Every male knows that when he is using a urinal, he can look any way he wants -- except left or right. Realizing this unwritten code, the appeal of the concept is that it assures your ad will effectively reach the elusive male audience. Wizmark is undoubtedly the perfect advertising medium for men of all ages.
12

05/04/2004 - 4:35 a.m.
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Dust devil tears through Japanese soccer match [video]. [Note video is in Japanese] This incredible dust devil materialized Sunday a week ago at a boys soccer conference in Matsumoto, Japan. No injuries were reported.
21

05/03/2004 - 3:55 a.m.
What the...?
OK let me get this straight:

  1. May 7th is National Masturbation Day.
    It comes up so quickly [so to speak].
  2. May 20th is also National Masturbation Day.
    What jerk-off screwed that up?
  3. May is National Masturbation Month.
    Cause we need an entire month to celebrate.
  4. May is also Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month.
    Well I guess that goes along with the previous three.
  5. May 12th is ... umm Mothers� Day.
    Something is really creeping me out here.

14

05/03/2004 - 3:36 a.m.
POP! Male Pregnancy? Women surrender.
www.MalePregnancy.com In the years since the first "test tube baby" was born in 1978, physicians and scientists from RYT Hospital have been working to develop a viable technique for the successful impregnation of male individuals. Mr. Lee, the first human subject to attempt this procedure, which shows the healthy fetus developing in his abdominal cavity.

Please note that RYT Hospital is not accepting new patients for this procedure. Male pregnancy is still in its experimental stage and will not be available to the public in the immediate future.

Link provided by: Hadassah


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