"The Daily Nonsense report� showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesn�t necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

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SUBMISSIONS

1. I accept humorous link, image, blog and story suggestions. Please email them to me. You will get full linkage.

2. Content submitted should be humor or satire, similar to what I normally do.

3. Please do not be upset if I don�t post your submission(s). There may be a few good reasons why I didn�t: It�s possible that maybe, just maybe, it wasn�t funny.




07/05/2004 - 9:43 p.m.
Getting laid while on vacation
The Management is currently getting laid.
Please check back at a more convenient time when sexual escapades have subsided. Please note that this will only be a temporary hiatus. Returning from this sexual escapade on July 12th. Until then watch this amazing pen handling video and practice and I thought I could spin a pen.
 13

07/03/2004 - 12:12 p.m.
Rumsfeld Fighting Technique
As you see with the post below Rummy, martial arts master, would beat Saddam everytime.


Crouching Tiger!
6

07/03/2004 - 9:29 a.m.
Tiger Hand always beats paper
Rock Paper Saddam!


8

07/02/2004 - 6:47 a.m.
How long 'til the FBI's knocking on this guy's door?
Meet RolandTower and his Homemade 20 foot flamethrower.

Like any red-blooded, masculine man of the male gender, I love PVC weaponry. You should too. If the concept of heading on down to the local Home Depot and transforming $100 worth of random pipe bits into a killing machine doesn�t appeal to you, you�re a goddamn pansy. Also, you�re probably sane and will live significantly longer than I will. Nonetheless you disgust me, and I take comfort in the knowledge that your obituary will be nowhere near as humorous as mine. For those of you who laugh in the face of hypersonic shards of plastic puncturing your spleen, here�s an intimate look at how I�ve kept myself busy for the past week: building a PVC flamethrower.
See it in action right here.

If you make one of these be careful I believe your local police department may frown on homemade Military grade flamethrowers.
13

07/02/2004 - 6:20 a.m.
Yes I'm here to protect you, or something.


11

07/01/2004 - 7:29 a.m.
In today�s email
I don�t know if I should laugh or run screaming.

I can�t stop thinking about you, Bruce
�Contrary to a popular opinion, i am God. Today. One. Yes. We are of the opinon that YOU� yes YOU are reay to Learn my Five steps to the Great Beyond. you never no when God (ME) is ready for you so be Ready Now!! The Five steps are simple to memorize and learn too. The First is a simple breathing technique that sets you apart from the inherantly and ultimately WRONG yogic breathing. I have corrected this fact so that You (man) may learn and prosper under it. Say the word �Bullwinkle" while performing the chakra mudras. Use the slow tantric breath on the �Bull� an d the kriyac technique of Apaches on the all-important �winkle.� For 50 bucks I can teach you the rest. PEACE, LOVE, NO DRUGS BUT LOVE LOVE AND HARMONIOUS SEX EVER & FOREVER."
Why do I (Bruce) gett this stuf (crazy email), due you (readers) get this stuff (crazy email) two?
Sorry about my spelling but after reading this email a couple times I don�t know if I will be able to spell again.
11

07/01/2004 - 6:35 a.m.
I'm almost completely left-handed. Except for the mouse. I've adapted to that.
The Left-Handed: B e n e f i t or c u r s e?
6

07/01/2004 - 6:26 a.m.
Lets see, I�m Left handed... its raining here... depressed... need a beer...
Left-handed people show unusually high frequencies of depression, drug abuse and bedwetting
12

06/30/2004 - 6:37 a.m.
Her husband must be proud
Meet Debra Lafave (page 8 of the SmpkingGun.com gets pretty hot and heavy). The 23-year-old Florida teacher is facing a host of felony charges for allegedly having sex with a 14-year-old male student. You can check out Debra�s wedding pictures here and some more here. Don�t forget to watch her Tampa Bay Live video.

That poor, poor husband, hard to tell what could be more humiliating.
1. Discovers that wife has affair.
2. Discovers affair was with 14 year old.
3. Discovers 14 year old was her student.
4. Learns she had affair with 14 year old because he couldn't get it up.
5. Learns police report is published on internet.
6. Learns wedding photos are published on internet.

Can you guys come up with a better title? Other titles I was considering:
1. Obviously she preferred the hands on method of teaching...
2. Okay, I'm moving to Tampa / St. Pete.
3. Drooling over hot tasteless pedophiles teachers
25

06/30/2004 - 6:27 a.m.
Atlanta Time Machine
This is excellent: Atlanta Time Machine.

The Atlanta Time Machine website is dedicated to examining the history of Atlanta, Georgia by comparing vintage photographs of Atlanta with much more contemporary images shot, more or less, from the same perspective of the original photographer.
My office building as shown back in 1967 and today.


12

06/30/2004 - 3:56 a.m.
Bill Clinton's blog.
Bill Clinton's blog. It's fake, right?
8

06/30/2004 - 3:49 a.m.
The Terrorists Have Already Won
At Fuzrock's, you can contribute a saying in the form of:

If _____________, that means the terrorists have already won.
Reload the page to get a random submission. There are currently 898 entries, and it's increasing every minute.

Examples:

  • If I can't get over-priced, low-on-actual-chocolate eggs, that means the terrorists have already won!
  • If there is blue smoke coming from the College of Cardinals, that means the terrorists have already won!
  • If I can't get a decent sugar-free vanilla soy latte in every podunk town in Ohio, that means the terrorists have already won!
  • If reading the words "Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!!" doesn't make you think of monster trucks, that means the terrorists have already won!
  • If you land on Illinois ave, and the terrorists have a hotel on it, and all you have is 76 dollars and three mortgaged railroads, that means the terrorists have already won!

14

06/29/2004 - 7:09 a.m.
Saran Wrap
Have any of you ever caught Sue Johanson�s Sunday Night Sex Show? She seems to be this century�s Dr. Ruth. Equally ancient and equally frightening to imagine in bed. Jill sent me this clip of her describing Saran Wrap fun. Enjooooooooy.
7

06/29/2004 - 6:23 a.m.
Washer And Dryer
Please ignore this item. We'll be buying a new washer and dryer soon, so this is just a personal bookmark for possible use later.

Bosch Laundry Products.

Quiet Operation: Up To 30 Times Quieter Than Other Washers at 60 dB(A). Efficient: Up To 76% Energy and 72% Water Savings Over Other Washers.
(via Meta-Efficient)
5

06/29/2004 - 6:21 a.m.
Secret Message?
This site may contain some very important information:

http://0x800ccc0d.com/

Or maybe not.
5

06/29/2004 - 6:15 a.m.
Another Clock
barcode clock
1

06/29/2004 - 6:13 a.m.
Online Hypnotism
You can be hypnotized! Turn up the volume and just concentrate on the guys voice. It's really weird.
10

06/28/2004 - 7:09 a.m.
Animals crossed with humans
Animals crossed with humans -- it's a furry's dreamworld in here, folks.

(via favorites Worth 1000, one of my all-time favorites)
8

06/28/2004 - 6:13 a.m.
What is that thing?
Your guess is as good as mine.

We've got lots more gizmos to keep you guessing! If you know the number of the one you'd like to see, you can use the table below to find it. Otherwise, click here to start with the most recent addition, and keep on playing as long as you like!
Click here to see if you know!
4

06/28/2004 - 4:47 a.m.
Permission To Link
This is pretty funny. Check out the Web links policy for Fast Company.

... if you like, you may link to us at no cost. This option requires the execution by you and Fastcompany.com of a one-page Web-linking agreement. Please download and sign the agreement and fax it to 617-738-5055, attn: G+J legal, Fastcompany.com. As soon as you receive back the agreement signed on behalf of Fastcompany.com, you may begin linking to our content.
I guess this is what happens when a company hires clueless lawyers who know nothing about the Web. I didn't fill out their agreement, but I think I'll live dangerously, and post this link to Fast Company's content. I wonder if I'll hear from their lawyers?

(via Boing Boing)
6

06/28/2004 - 4:46 a.m.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME
How to pick a lock...in case you were wondering. [.pdf file]

Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. DO NOT undertake any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.

12

06/28/2004 - 4:44 a.m.
Fahrenheit 9/11
Fahrenheit 9/11 tops box office If it's posted on Drudgereport, it must be official; This, despite an all out effort from the Vast Right Wing.
10

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