"The Daily Nonsense reportĒ showing on http://BruceDowns.Diaryland.com is just what the name implies, just nonsense. I update this nonsense everyday with links to a wide variety of weird, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining sites that the Internet, so frequently, provides us. On occasion I may feature links that doesnít necessarily meet the previously mention criteria but are my personal thoughts and observations. I do put witty taglines on this nonsense and mail them to your mother on occasion, especially when you have been bad. So have fun, make comments, and come back often.

07/23/2004 - 6:17 a.m.
This Land

A parody of Woodie Guthrie's "This Land" starring George Bush , John Kerry and a host of other political figures. (takes a while to load, but very funny)

(via Rachel) Sorry Rachel, my bad.

07/23/2004 - 6:07 a.m.
Real life in the world of paid companionship
Please note this is not the type of post (carefully chosen word here) that I usually do, but I did find it very interesting. Warning, some not safe for work language.

Working Girls Jay, your average john, discusses his experiences with Working Girls -- as in, they work the "oldest profession". Kristin a 22-year-old, who left home last year, lured perhaps by the youthful energy of the West, repelled by the lack of opportunities at home. Unable to find anything better than a minimum wage job, she's been a Working Girl since last October, shares her experiences. Together, they try to educate people about what it means to be a Callgirl.

07/23/2004 - 5:48 a.m.
Catch bubbles
Catch bubbles. (Flash) Pop.

07/22/2004 - 5:51 a.m.
5 things my mother never said to me

  1. "Yes, that IS an impressive booger Bruce."
  2. "Your 10 years old! Don't you think it's time you gave up the comics and started reading porn?"
  3. "You forgot your M-80s and gasoline."
  4. "I don't care what the teacher says, No boy should start his school day without a 6-pack."
  5. "Oh, I suppose if all your friends ran out and got jobs, you'd get one too."


07/22/2004 - 5:47 a.m.
the official shotgun rules
The official rules for calling Shotgun in an automobile.. But if a discrepancy ever occurs, and they commonly do, over who rightfully gets Shotgun, it is usually settled with a single game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

The term "Shotgun" refers to the front passenger seat of an automobile. "Calling Shotgun" is the act of claiming the position of Shotgun for one's self. As this position is the most coveted of all positions when riding in a car, this list of rules has been created to ensure that Shotgun can be acquired in a fair and equitable manner by any passenger of an automobile.


07/21/2004 - 5:50 a.m.
Does anyone else get a sick satisfaction from doing this?
Pluck my nasal hair. More pointless fun for 5 minutes. Use a pair of virtual tweezers to pluck unsightly nasal hair from a mans nose.

07/21/2004 - 5:25 a.m.
Miss Georgia Pageant, Yes I live in Georgia and I've never been more proud.
Check out the winners in the Miss Georgia Sex Offenders 2004 Pageant.

This year's Miss Georgia Sex Offenders Pageant held many surprises, laughs, tears, excitement, and lots of winners. Women of all backgrounds and of all offenses came from all over Georgia to compete in the festivities. Here are the results for 2004's Miss Georgia Sex Offenders Pageant.
Award winner shown below:
"Most likely to be looking around the corner at all times"
goes to: Monnyeen Kemp White


07/21/2004 - 5:21 a.m.
Outrageous Johns
The Travel Channel presents: Top 10 Outrageous Bathrooms.

Not all bathrooms are created equal. While most are boring -- separated by sex, decorated with blandly tiled walls -- and in many cases offering less-than-hygienic conditions, there are a few tantalizing toilets that are downright outrageous and worth a sit.


07/20/2004 - 11:21 a.m.
Bruceís new toy
I got a new cell phone, but not any cell phone but I got what I believe is the best camera-phone on the market, the Samsung E715. I also found this awesome site called A1 cell phones, which has the best prices that I found on the net. So, if you are looking for a new cell phone and are willing to switch providers, you must be a new member to get the deals, give them a try.

Iíve only had it for a few days and I have a lot to learn but here is my first picture, taken of Mason swimming under water at the pool.


07/20/2004 - 6:04 a.m.
*points to mouth* Beer goes in here!
RateBeer.com, "widely recognized as the most accurate and most-visited source for beer information," has announced the "World's Worst Beers." Cheers!

07/20/2004 - 5:44 a.m.
Magical Name Acronym Generator!

Nothing is more important to a person than their name. It is a label we are given at birth and therefore can affect our personality as we grow up and become individuals. Name acronyms have been around for a very long time. This generator will take your real name or blog/journal username and tell you what each letter of it means about your personality. Do your own or do one for a friend or girlfriend! The things you learn about yourself or others in this test may be important!

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator

(via Jeff)

07/20/2004 - 5:39 a.m.
I can't go just thinking about this.

(link provided by Leslie)

07/19/2004 - 5:44 a.m.
eBay - Rubber Ducky, Unbelievable story, Haunted? Possessed?

This is a crazy story that I wouldn't have believed had it not happened to me. I am not prone or drawn to the supernatural, and in fact I have a strong Christian support system, but what I experienced has no other explanation than the unexplained. This is a true story about a Rubber Ducky. I don't feel that in good conscience I can keep this thing in my house, it wouldn't be fair to my family and frankly I've lost enough sleep over it as it is. I spoke at length with my Pastor and together we came up with the idea to sell it with full disclosure, any other method and we would risk the Duck falling into unsuspecting hands. We knew that the only way to get rid of him without personal condemnation was to be open, honest and forthright. We knew the person getting the duck would have to know the whole story and accept the consequences freely. We felt the only way to do this was to be sure the story would be read, understood and accepted.
Yes thereís more to the story, to read and place bid click here.

07/19/2004 - 5:33 a.m.
Ordering pizza in a surveillance society
This little Flash movie by the ACLU about the loss of privacy is hilarious and, of course, scary at the same time.

From site:

The government and corporations are aggressively collecting information about your personal life and your habits. They want to track your purchases, your medical records, and even your relationships. The Bush Administration's policies, coupled with invasive new technologies, could eliminate your right to privacy completely. Please help us protect our privacy rights and prevent the Total Surveillance Society.
(via http://www.crookedtimber.org/)

07/19/2004 - 5:20 a.m.
Spider-maaan, Spider-maaan
Spider-maaan, Spider-maaan, Does whatever a spider can... Apart from in this instance spin webs. Instead he's got to rely on the Batman Lookalike Trapeze Artist Union to safely guide him through the skies of New York. Or, uh, something. [Flash]

Last Week Nonsense - This Week Nonsense

Any rebroadcast, reproduction, or other use of the pictures and accounts of this nonsense without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited. Sanitized for your protection. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. One size fits all. No user-serviceable parts inside. I do not carry cash. No wagering. Void where prohibited by law.